Got the little one up early this morning and popped her into a cold shower to help clear away the Ambien she takes to make sure she gets a full night’s sleep. Maybe she should have taken her Ritalin before the shower and that would have calmed her tantrum a little, but as usual I didn’t give it to her until it was too late. It hadn’t quite kicked in by the time she came to the table so I caved a little bit and gave her the Fruit Loops she wanted instead of the power breakfast I had prepared, but I poured on some Muscle Milk and gave her a protein shake to help wash down her multi-vitamin and L-Arginine. I drove her to school so that she doesn’t have to share the bus with the kids who have colds, head lice, or mal-adjusted parents, and I reminded her to act-up with the teacher in the first 15 minutes so that she gets made to sit away from all the bug carriers.
The teachers won’t administer the kid’s medications these days so I had to pop down to the school a half-hour before gym class and give her a couple of Tylenol so she could exercise through the pain of her Osgood-Schattlers. Then I went in again at lunchtime to give her a Five Hour Energy for the afternoon session and picked her up at 2.30 which is perfect timing to get her fed full of high-fiber, full grain pasta before practice starts.
I let the coach know that she had already taken her Gatorade Prime in the car on the way there and that her Gatorade Perform was in her bag. Normally I like to watch practice but I had to pop out to the store because we were out of Gatorade Recover and I wanted to have some by the time she finished. The coach was appreciative of my efforts and let me know that he himself had taken a couple of Cialis just in case it was of any interest to me.
When we got home I was going to give her some Natrol to help her focus on her school stuff but we decided to blow off her homework in favor of watching a documentary on the Discovery Channel about Barry Bonds and all the performance enhancing drugs the cheating rat took. I hope she understood the message I was trying to send her.
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you should send the little one to the Lance Armstrong summer camp for aspiring champions.
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