The Best Club In Michigan

Some fool over on mLive was on pontificating on about how the Wolves were the best club in Michigan! Everybody else knows that the Wolves suck. I fell for their tactics when they talked me into leaving our first club with the promise of state cups and national titles. State cup my ass! All they did was recruit even more players and my kid was left on the bench. They also told me they were great talent spotters! Talent spotters my ass! They couldn’t tell that my kid was way better than any of the others they brought in and I was so happy when we left to go a club with a great reputation - Vardar!

Great reputation my ass! Turns out Vardar sucks too! The only reputation they have is for swallowing up little clubs, changing their name to Vardar North by Northwest, and charging twice the money for the same tired old coaches wearing Vardar Nation t-shirts. Macedonian mafia if ever I saw it. Delighted that we left for the highly skilled Waza. Reefer, Splif and Bong are all fantastic coaches!

Highly skilled my ass! Only thing my kid learned was how to henna rinse and dreadlock his hair. I suppose he did come home from every practice happy as larry but I think that was more to do with the fumes that were wafting in the air than the quality of the coaching. Waza Schmaza! We’ll be so much better off with Troy Elite.

Troy Elite my ass! I had to put my kid in therapy as he suffered an identity crisis when he wasn’t sure if he played for Troy Elite, FC Nova, Michigan Elite or the Premier Soccer Group. The whole episode was a real spit in the face. We thought about transferring to the Novi Jags but just before we signed up they changed to the Michigan Jags and we couldn’t face the same nightmare all over again. So happy we found our spiritual home at Grand Rapids Crew Juniors.

Spiritual home my ass! It turns out they only have one good team at the U15 boys age group and the rest are all west side farm boys who wouldn’t recognize a superstar like my kid if he jumped up and bit them.

Anyway, I think it’s beginning to look like we’ve got it all sorted out and next year should be great!! We’ve been winter training and discussing our options with a really top notch club called the Wolves!