I’m thinking of consulting a lawyer after my kid had yet another nightmare game during the high school season. This time round I’m afraid I can’t blame his poor performance on the sorry state of the gene pool that his real father provided. No, this time round the blame is laid fairly and squarely at the door of the MHSAA with their hair brained support of the national idea of forcing our kids into adopting ever more stringent safety methods, such as the new shin guard rule.
Things started off badly when I pulled the straps on his protective headgear too tight and it was cutting of the blood flow to his rarely used brain. Then, with all the rain we’ve had, the humidity was misting up his Rip Hamilton protective face mask to the point where he couldn’t see very well and he ran into the far side goal post on one his rare forays up field. Fortunately the school had installed those heavily padded goalposts designed to protect numbskulls like my boy. Late in the second half his giant size shin guards slipped out of place and he tripped over them tearing his ACL in the process. That didn’t help his play much but at least the coach was now paying attention to him as he screamed “Sub out, you moron!”. As he left the field the elastic in his regulation NCAA approved jock strap broke, and his mandatory FIFA approved cup fell out revealing his manhood in all its glory to the assembled fans. The coach commented that he now understood why my boy didn’t have any balls going into the tackle.
LOL
ReplyDeleteOkay, so we get this stupid shin guard rule and I'm supposed to enforce it. To me its really no different than Official Sports trying to boost uniform sales by change the designs of our reffing kit. Its all we need is a little more greed in the youth soccer world.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, I'm officiating my first high school match last summer and I ask a player to see his shin guard so that I can familiarize myself with the branding the NHSAA or MHSAA has put on the guard. The kid was horrified as he didn't have the aforementioned labeled guards. They were of proper size, so, I had no problem. The coach even said its okay to show him a card because he didn't make sure his team was properly equipped. To this I chuckled and started the match.
Sadly, I know many officials will follow the letter of the law and not the spirit of the law. Lets keep the players as safe as possilbe in this full contact sport, but, let them play.
Given the nature of the NHSAA and MHSAA I can see that they'd want their cut on the jockstrap and cup business as well. Trust me coaches, I'll take your word that your teams are properly equipped.