Press Release

Fox Television today confirms that it has secured the exclusive broadcast television rights to the on-screen version of the famed soccer blog FullRideSoon. The show will broadcast this summer season and will expose a wider American audience to the insanity widely prevalent in the close knit, dysfunctional soccer community. Opening episodes will feature ‘Tryouts’ in which potential team players and their desperate parents are mentally abused by a process widely considered to be the youth sports equivalent of water boarding. In a departure from run-of-the-mill reality shows, the participants will be forced to sit by the telephone for up to ten days before finding out if they have been selected. Additional twists include last minute phone calls to successful candidates to tell them that the coach has changed his mind.

Subsequent episodes will focus on the mental anguish suffered by pre-teen girls as they face the dilemma of playing a team sport in which they are also deadly rivals with their teammates for the single spot on the ODP roster which is the show’s ultimate prize. Audiences will be delighted to watch the girls refuse to pass the ball to each other as their parents stab each other in the back at every opportunity.

Fox has recruited BJ Gonzalez as the team’s coach. With his gimpy leg, shock of red hair, and 250 lb frame, Gonzalez is widely regarded as one of the most physically repulsive coaches in US soccer. The show’s highlight is expected to be when one of the mothers finally gets desperate enough to throw herself at him.

FullRideSoon is the creation of Michigan mother of three Phillipa Rideson, generally considered the only sane soccer parent in the nation.