Things I Wish The Coach Would Understand

1 – The modern soccer parent chooses to communicate with you through the medium of a public web-based soccer forum. You should not expect to have any direct conversation with us or have any clue about who is actually posting any criticism of you. We’ll be nice to your face in order to keep our kid on the team but part of the deal is that we get to anonymously ridicule you to the rest of the soccer community. Deal with it.

2 – Unless you regularly deliver state cups followed by deep runs into the regional and national post seasons, you must accept that you have gotten the ratio of technical to tactical training totally wrong and we as parents could see that all along.

3 – You must understand that our kids also play baseball, go to school, have church committments, and occasionally will visit with their Aunt Jemima from Nebraska. With this in mind we expect that you will be at the practice field 30 minutes early to set up those colorful cones in pretty little patterns just in case we should decide to actually show up.

4 – We also expect you to be at the games 45 minutes early so that we have enough time to demand changes to your starting line up.

5 – Please do not get the impression that, just because we have chosen to join your team and are paying you handsomely to teach our kids, we have any faith in your ability to actually do the job.