Aboutface Book

Like most concerned parents I’m always on the look out for good solid advice on how to raise our kids in this scary modern world. I make a point of regularly watching Dr. Phil and Jerry Springer for the sort of positive role models we all need in this day and age. We soccer parents are in a particularly vulnerable position because, without a background in the game ourselves, we have to hand our kids over to these slippery foreign coaches. Very few of these randy ratbags I’ve slept with over the years seem to adhere to my high standards of integrity, morality and modesty. So, as the mother of a developing teenage girl, I have to look out for my kid. I’m therefore very glad to hear about the publication of a new tome on how the modern teen communicates. Of course, I didn’t have the time to actually read this Aboutface book, but I did scan over the sensational headlines in a synopsis by one of the reputable journalists on the Notional Inquirer at the supermarket checkout the other day.

It seems we should be looking out for coaches who chose to speak to the kids. Apparently these so-called conversations are un-attributable and highly deniable. In order to avoid getting into a ‘he said/she said’ type of situation we should be encouraging our kids to communicate with their coach in a written format which is recorded and easily reviewed.

Not that this absolves us of any responsibility to get some background on the coach we are handing our precious kids and, more importantly, our hard earned cash to. The book therefore suggests that we get onto the coaches friend list on his social networking site to see if he’s the kind of person we want our kids to be with. I have to say there are a couple of coaches at our club who won’t be getting anywhere near my daughter although in the interests of being inclusive I’ve added them to my own account.

So, I’m doing the right thing and having my daughter communicate with the coach via text message, having her befriend him on Facebook, and asking him to stop talking to her. Now the best part is that since I pay her cell phone bill, and I pay for her internet service, the messages all belong to me and I can review them as I see fit. Our former mayor here in Detroit and his erstwhile paramour know all about who owns text messages!

But I was telling all this to my own crazy dingbat mother and she gets it into her head that reading your kid’s texts and emails is the modern equivalent of reading her diary! WTF! She’s ranting on about how some parents get the medium mixed up with the message, and how if we’ve raised our kids right they’ll know what is and isn’t appropriate. She seems to think I have some responsibility, and has this nutty notion that we can give the kids some space to live and grow safe in the knowledge that if anyone does actually step over the line then text and Facebook gives us the solid documentation that spoken words don’t! That’s the sort of wacko thinking that demonstrates just how out of touch the older generation really is.