Developing The Premier Player

The soccer world will be delighted to know that a reputable website has demonstrated a level of class and sophistication beyond what I am used to here in the frozen mid-west by picking up on my blog. This website also has a thread entitled “What Makes The Premier Player?” Being the parent of two outstanding soccer legends (let’s not talk about ‘the boy’) I’m sure you will all be desperate to get my take on the subject.

The first and foremost requirement in creating a premier player is high-priced coaching. And I’m not talking about the makeshift, read-it-off-the-back-of-a-Wheaties-box stuff which passes for coaching with all those clubs apart from the one my daughters play with.

No, I’m talking about world class, cutting edge instruction such as that to be found at the Victoria Beckham Soccer Academy. The fragrant side of soccer’s royal couple has the solid experience you need to give credibility to her soccer syllabus which includes:
1 – How to make a long and distinguished career with a distinct lack of talent.
2 – The ‘push-up’ principal and how to use it to catch the eye.
3 – How to marry into a talented soccer team.
4 – Breeding the next generation of soccer superstars.
5 – The cut and run back to Europe technique.

Almost as important is the need to look the part. Intimidating the opposition by showing up in matching ClimaDryFit gear with warm-up shirts and three full uniform sets for home, away and alternate occasions is an essential part of the modern game. It is very encouraging to see Michigan clubs adopting the same techniques used by world class teams like Madchester Untied who have perfected the art of using the multiple uniform tactical formation to generate solid results.

It goes without saying that equipment is essential. My readers will be distressed to learn that my own promising soccer career ground to halt when my mis-guided parents spent too much time focusing on whether or not my cleats fitted me. Had they had the benefit of the knowledge I have since gained they would have known that I could have been a world beater if only my cleats had been fashioned from the skin of a recently deceased antipodean marsupial, and been complete with enhanced predator elements, weight shift power shot technology, and surface specific traxion power drives. Parents should also be aware that providing your offspring with the cheapest pair of cleats on an 18 man roster can lead to ridicule and a career ending loss of confidence.

Of course the games you play are a prime consideration. It is a scientifically proven fact that it is impossible to find the level of competition you need to develop as a premier player within a 400 mile radius of your team’s home base. Recent research has indicated that crossing two state lines is the minimum requirement to get a half way decent game of soccer. Fortunately the modern soccer environment is blessed with a number of dedicated individuals who are willing to travel such distances on a regular basis to support your prospect for a trifling recompense, travel expenses, and full lodging at a minimum 4 star hotel.

In summary, what it takes to be a premier player is very simple; $120,000.