An Apology

I want to apologize to everyone for my daughter’s behavior at tryouts this year. She may have given the other girls the impression that she had already been promised a roster spot ahead of time. Nothing could be further from the truth. In actual fact girls like her who have weight issues, two left feet, a complete lack of co-ordination and a lazy left eye, actually have to work harder than most at tryouts. I’m sure that some parents will infer that her limited time on the field, and the fact that she didn’t actually come into contact with the ball, yet still made the premier team, suggests there is something going on. However, more advanced soccer fans will recognize this as a great demonstration of quality off-the-ball play. The rumors that she only made the top team because I agreed to bring my son, (current regional ODP captain, stud, superstar and general soccer god) back to the club that has been trying to recruit him for months are wide of the mark. The subsidized fees for my son and free travel to out of state games also had nothing to with it. You’ll all just have to accept that another part of our soccer dynasty is becoming established at the highest level.