What Is It With Referees These Days?

Jeez! Where in the name of all that is expensive do you find a decent referee these days? That buffoon we had last weekend was even worse than the blind donkey we had in the semi-final of the Body Armour tournament up in Flint, MI. She was so bad we had to start singing “Fat Bottomed Girls” at her just to cheer ourselves up. Her little balding bespectacled AR got all bent out of shape just because someone called him “Gandhi”, and I swear the kid running the line on the far side had to change his diaper at half time because he was so scared of our center half’s dad. Then the little rat has the temerity to throw down his flag and storm off in a huff just because Big Eddie started to help him with the offside calls! Kids these days get their money too easily if they can pass up $20 just for running up and down a field for an hour or so. The worst of it is that I think one of our parents is friendly with the ref because he shouted “Hey, I know where you live!” just after she blew that offside call that cost us the game. I did see him following her out to the parking lot afterwards although she seemed to be in a bit of a rush to get going.

So I thought I’d seen it all until we came up against this Uber Psycho last weekend. I hadn’t seem him do any of our games before but some of our parents seemed to know him quite well by virtue of the fact that they reminded him he was a short-sighted, illegitimate, pedophile. At half time our coach tried to explain where he was going wrong and the buffoon hits him with a red card! WTF! I’ll admit that the coach might have stepped over the line by telling him where he could shove his red card but that dude just let the power go to his head. A bunch of us went over to try and settle him down and he ends up calling the game and using his cell phone to call the cops! What a pussy!

Then this week we get the word that we are going down to only one ref per game and we have to provide ‘parent linesmen’. Jeez! Seems that not enough of the old, fat, bow-legged little Hitler’s want to come out and work for a decent living anymore! What is wrong with these people? Well I hope they all know that it’s the kids that suffer.