Farewell Fox

The word on the street is that some local cable TV providers are pulling the Fox Soccer Channel from their line up. As you would expect some pinko, liberal, tree-hugging, euro-trash parents are getting a little bit bent out of shape about it and are trying to have the decision reversed! What’s that all about? Good riddance to FSC, I say!

FSC pollutes the airwaves with soccer from the UK, Italy, Germany, Spain, Australia, Argentina, and also from the J League in that country whose name I can’t bring myself to write (hint; they lost the war). FOX even had the nerve to broadcast games from the world club championship! We can’t allow this to go on! If our kids grow up watching soccer from all over the world they might end up thinking that this is some sort of ‘world game’ which is played and enjoyed the world over with huge TV audiences! We have a duty to teach our kids that this is a minority sport played by kids who are too skinny to be football players, and too little to reach the basket.

Fox’s latest insult is to add some dolly-bird girl whose head is too big for her body to the panel on their nightly news show! That, and the fact that they showed some women’s college soccer this year might lead our youth into believing that there is a place for girls in the sporting world! My friends, we must protect our girls from those kind of debased thoughts.

As for the rest of their panel well they have some dude presented to us as an “expert” just because he’s Welsh, or Scottish or something! Please! Just because Wales and Scotland are two of the four countries that write the official rules of the game you expect us to believe these people will know what they are talking about?

The biggest problem with Fox is, of course, the games that they show. That EPL just seems to consist of skilful ball handlers who think we will be impressed by their fancy footwork, clever strategies, and flowing teamwork. Get out of here I say! This is America and we want to see our sportsmen knocking the crap out of each other. I had to beat my eldest kid with a stick after I caught her out in the back yard practicing some of that Christiano Ronaldo’s moves. We don’t want skill here, thank you very much.

So back off you FSC lovers and let’s let this channel go so that we can save our kids from the possibility that they might end actually being able to play this game. In the meantime, I have to cut this short because the Arsenal v Liverpool game is about to start.