Blingfooled Farce U22.5 Girls today became the first team in Michigan soccer history to win a Notional Championship while fielding a team without an original Anterior Cruciate Ligament. All 36 legs on the 18 strong roster had been under the knife of the students of Dr. Random Carver of the Academy of Economy Surgery in Sad Axe, MI. Doctor Carver is the team’s sponsor and is pleased at the ‘happy coincidence’ which saw him prescribe so many surgeries just at the time his students were looking for patients to practice on.
The girls’ success is testimony to Doctor Carver’s approach which is to cut first and ignore the outmoded ideas of warm-up, exercise, strength development, quality playing surfaces, and referee protection for skilled players. He comments; “These girls can just kick the crap out of each other safe in the knowledge that the medical profession will rob them of their body parts faster than it can empty their wallets”.
The Farce will hobble onto the field and chant their war cry (Abra-cadaver!) for the final time next Friday in a showcase match-up against the Metro-Detroit Zombies, a team of girls in therapy with self esteem issues after being severely chewed out by ball breaker coaches.
Email me at fullridesoon@gmail.com
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