Rogue Soccer Clubs

Thank goodness we have decent people out there to keep an eye on all these rogue soccer clubs. We should all be grateful to guys like Ivan Ajender who has been diligent in keeping us all informed about the shenanigans going on at Midwest Excess ever since the club let him go last summer. I was shocked by his revelation that the money we pay is being used to fund the lavish lifestyle of the guys who founded the club and exploited the market in a blatantly un-American way known as a “business”.

He also reveals that the club’s DOC instructs the coaches to promote a game style of kicking the crap out of the opponents and flopping in the penalty box at every opportunity. Poor Ivan has been so busy making us aware of the scandals at this former employer that he hasn’t had the chance to send back all his trophies or remove all the club’s accolades from his resume now that he has revealed they made him cheat to get them.

Ivan knew all along that one of the club’s coaches was headed to a courtroom and he’s been forced to spend hours editing all his old posts on the club’s website praising this guy now that the truth is out. I just hope that no one considers a great guy like Ivan is in any way culpable just because he didn’t blow the whistle on this dude.

Most disturbing is his revelation that the DOC picks the players on his teams on the basis of how ‘hot’ the mother is. It seems that the A teams are known as the ‘MILFs’ and the C teams are known as the ‘Ten Beers’. It seems to me that Ivan is well out of that place and now that his divorce is settled I hope that he and the mother of his former star striker will be able to settle down together after that slightly distasteful start to their relationship. I for one wish them all they deserve.