Shares in Bridgetone/Firelone shot up today on news of the financial success of the tire manufacturer’s latest recycling program. Under the innovative system the company first sells their product to the consumer and then charges them a second time when the tires need to be replaced, citing a “responsible disposal” cost. The worn tires are then ground up into a finely crumbled format and sold for a third time to the producers of the artificial soccer fields much beloved by the great American middle class. From there the crumbled tire particles attach themselves to the cleats, socks, bags and warm-ups of the nation’s six million unsuspecting soccer players before final distribution into frustratingly annoying little piles on the back seats of their parents expensive vehicles, and on the floors of their bathrooms, bedrooms and family rooms. Announcing record quarterly profits, company spokesman Weasley Nickendyme commented “We as a company are highly focused on green issues”.
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So true! Those things are everywhere, and I mean everywhere!
ReplyDeleteGlad we play on real grass
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